I recently read a post by Alex Elle called “In the Company of Women,” and it made me reflect on something I never really thought deeply about—friendship between women, especially as a mom wanting mom friends.
When she spoke about sisterhood, one woman said she didn’t need it. She grew up around men, now has a husband and sons, and felt like that was enough.
And honesty… I understand that.
I’ve lived in a similar way—mostly surrounded by my family. My husband, my daughter, my son. My world has felt full, but also small at times.
Don’t get me wrong—I do have mom friends. I see them Monday through Friday after school, and we talk while our kids play.
My Reality With Mom Friends
Most of my friendships came naturally through my kids. Playdates. School. The Park.
All of my mom friends are different from me. Different backgrounds, different lifestyles. But somehow, we connected through our children.
One moment that stood out to me when another mom came up to me at the park and thanked me.
Her daughter has been getting bullied, and my daughter stepped in and told the other child to leave her alone.
That moment meant everything to her.
And to me, it showed something important: The way we raise our children matters.
Breaking Old Beliefs About Friendship
Growing up, I don’t think I ever saw deep, healthy friendships between women.
And reading Alex Elle’s words made me realize something deeper—that sometimes, as women, especially Black women, we’ve been conditioned to believe we don’t need each other.
Whether it’s independence, survival, or past experiences… we learn to stay in our own world.
I didn’t realized how much that showed up in my life until now.
My Truth
I’ve struggled with friendships.
Some people came into my life for the wrong reasons. Some drained my energy. Some relationships didn’t feel safe or genuine.
So I pulled back.
I stayed in my comfort zone—my family.
And while that felt peaceful… it also kept me from experiencing deeper connection. It was hard at first, but it felt great meeting other women and have a deeper connection with them.
Where to Find Mom Friends (In Real Life & Online)
If you’re like me, making friends as an adult—especially as a mom—can feel awkward or even exhausting.
But there are simple ways to start:
1. School & Everyday Spaces
The park, school pickup, and after-school activities are where most of my friendships started. Sometimes it’s just a simple conversation that grows over time.
2. Social Media Groups
Facebook has local mom groups where women share advice, meetups, and support. Searching your city + ‘mom groups” is great place to start.
3. Apps for Friendship
Apps like Peanut and Bumble BFF are designed for women looking to connect, especially moms.
4. Community Events
Libraries, kids’ events and local community centers often host activities where you can meet other moms naturally.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, I’m still learning.
Learning how to open up.
Learning how to trust.
Learning how to build connections that feel safe and real.
Motherhood can feel lonely sometimes, even when we’re surrounded by people.
But maybe… we’re not meant to do this alone.
