Introduction:
I haven’t written a blog post in a long time—about a year or more, to be exact. It’s not because I didn’t want to, but because I’ve been dealing with mental health challenges and perimenopause. I’ve been trying to heal myself, and in the process, I stopped doing many of the things I love.
Today, I decided to write anyway—because I miss writing.
The Mind-Body Connection:
Perimenopause isn’t just physical. For me, it has shown up as anxiety, emotional overwhelm, brain fog, irritability, and moments where I barely recognize myself. Day to day, it often feels like I want to give up because I’ve tried everything to cope. I’ve tried natural remedies and even medications that didn’t work for me.
I didn’t realize I was going through perimenopause until my psychiatrist requested blood work. Suddenly, everything made sense. I started thinking about hormonal therapy (HRT), but fear quickly followed. Some people say it works, some say it didn’t, and others say they developed cancer while on it. I was also told that certain forms of HRT can increase cancer risk. Cancer runs on both sides of my family, which makes this decision even harder.
I’ve come to realize that I can’t live my life this way forever. I’m a stay-at-home mom to two children, and my husband works full-time to support our family. If I’m struggling at the beginning stages of menopause, what will the later stages look like?
Life After My Hysterectomy:
I currently have high blood pressure and have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and a mood disorder. I spoke with my blood pressure doctor about finding a new OBGYN after going through five different ones. I’m still waiting for a call back, but in the meantime, I’m working closely with a therapist. She recommended a book I’m currently reading called The Mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions.
I’ve also realized that I can’t keep waiting for the “perfect time” to feel better. We bought a house this past year. We have children. I’m married. Life keeps moving, even when I feel stuck. So I’m trying to slowly return to the things I love—meditating again, doing yoga in the mornings, caring for my family, and learning how to live fully alongside healing.
Why I’m Writing this Anyway:
I almost didn’t write this post. Fear and doubt held me back for a long time. I told myself I needed to be “better first.” But I decided to write anyway—because maybe someone out there needs this, and because I needed it too.
Right now, being here means honesty, effort, and showing up imperfectly.
I am a mother and a wife, and I love my family deeply. I want to be present with them. I also want to make sure I don’t lose myself in the process.
This isn’t the end of my story—it’s the beginning of finding my way back.
